Daughter
The Simultaneous, 2022
Digital C-Prints, Ilford Semigloss
40 x 60 cm
50 x 75 cm
Edition of 7 + 2AP
I’ve been screaming. The voice inside my head is tauntingly loud. It is too loud that nobody can hear. There are always obstacle set to my boundary limitation. I can’t do anything, anything. “FREEDOM” a word carved deep inside my skin. I urge for it. I cry for it. I want to tattoo it in the back of my hand, just so I can express how much I need it. Need it, not want it. Why can’t I be normal? Is it just me? Or there’s anybody else chanting a silent hymn? But freedom, faraway from me like a boat sail on the stream. All because I was born a girl. My mom used to tell me. “No matter what I do, I’d always be wrong. Because I’m a girl” she would constantly remind me, sometimes on our breakfast table and sometimes randomly at 4pm. I don’t even know how to feel anymore. I’m numb to all the advices and self-help tips. “I can’t do what I want. I can’t go anywhere. I can’t travel. I can’t go out. I can’t live a simply normal life. Mom said people will look and people will judge. But who are the people, mom? Why is family reputation far more important than your own child’s happiness? And who are you exactly? Are you living my life? Must I follow what you tell me because I’m somehow still under your roof, or because it’s blood? Mom, dad, how long am I going to live like this ? Until I get married or until I die? When are you going to set me free? Or is it too late? Because you already cut my wings.